so i got out of class a little bit ago, and i went to check to see who got parts in the musical that i tried out for. i looked at the list at least 5 times, and soon found that i did not get a part in it at all. not even a chorus member! a feeling of discussed and sadness came over me. i felt like shit! i walked away from the building, got in my car and drove off. on my way back to my room i started to get a new feeling. all of a sudden i didnt feel too bad. actually i feel relieved. its a lot to take on my first semester away from home anyway. i know im not that bad. i just fucked my audition up. im cool with it now. i think i'll focus more on what i want to do with my life now. focus on school. and focus on my future. im at a definite cross roads right now, but i think that i can handle it.

my good friend Colbone (hes a rapper in wichita) called me up last night and asked me if i wanted to put some of my music that i have written on a compilation. i definately said hell yea. its going to be totally none profit and completely about THE MUSIC! we just want to get our names out there and entertain. and im proud to have been asked to be apart of it. this can definitly lead to more comps. maybe my own album and gigs all over! im pumped! these are cool people and im excited to get to work with them.

and as far as the musical. theirs allways next year!

Last night i went to see the simpsons movie, and it was a blast! very funny. it was one joke after another and was probably the funniest thing ive seen that the simpsons has done since, like, 7 or 8 seasons ago. the episodes are getting repetitive and uniteresting. yet the movie was a breath of fresh air. i am a HUGE simpsons fan and i was not disappointed by this movie what so ever. i recommend that everybody goes and sees it. Simpsons fan or not... you will like the move regardless!

    So heres the thing. Saturday night i may have had just a little too much to drink. In my life time, i have only blacked out from drinking only 1 other time and that was due to shots of Rum. (not good) But saturday i drank too much and i dont remember much. I was told that i was happy one second, and then dark and depressed the next. I may have made an ass out of my self but mostly just infront of my brother and MC. So i know that they will forgive me for giving them a little bit of a scare(i love you guys) anyway, i have since realized that drinking is fun but its not fun when you have a regretful feeling the next day. I now know that i dont like the person that i turned into that night. Yes i can still have fun and go out and have a few drinks... there is nothing wrong with that at all! but "few" is the magic word. I will limit myself to 3, maaaaybe 4 beers in an evening, at partys. When its a casual night, like friday with matt, i will have 1 or 2, that night was tons of fun without getting completely slammed! All in all, i was no more drunk than anybody else at that party, but it seemed that night that something weird came over me and i didn't like it. I like beer too much and it may escalate into a larger problem. So im going to regulate it now instead of waiting until i get arrested for it. I dont want that to happen.
    This summer will be fun. Dont get me wrong. I wont refrain from having fun. But i will pick and choose my nights, special occasions, holidays, and specific partys. I have not enjoyed the last few partys because i think that i have grown up quite a bit in the last year. and getting Plowed is just not that appealing anymore. And i hate that feeling of regret and embarrassment and hangover the next day. So refraining from getting hammered may make me a happier person. here it goes. i'll make it work!